40 reasons why I think Zelda is a bad game.
1) It's not named after the main character.
2) The graphics.
3) It's not named after the main character.
4) I like cheese.
5) Link died in Final Fanasy 1.
6) If Link was really a good elf he'd be in the North Pole.
7) Mega Man is just the best.
He wears the same clothes every day.
9) OoT supports the use of marijuana.
10) Link is a horse theif.
12) Link doesn't throw swords when he has full health in the new games.
13) I never played a Zelda game.
14) The triforce looks like my mom's stolen jewlery.
15) Because you touch yourself at night.
16) Because mass carriers = instant win!
17) Hey listen! Hey listen! Hey listen! Hey listen!
1
Link has as much personality as the GTA 3 dude.
19) It's not named after the main character.
20) Because Link was never on a Dominoes commercial.
21) Because C button on the Game Cube controller makes it awkward to play OoT in the special collection set.
22) Because Link plays an Ocarina and not a guitar.
23) Because Link isn't even the mascot of a company unlike Mario and Mega Man.
24) Because I lost my game save.
25) Because the old man is a nasty man!
26) Because Link works at McDonalds.
27) Because Zelda doesn't know how to use pepper spray on Gannon.
2
Because I don't understand the difference between Gannon and Gannondorf.
29) Because I had to buy Double Dash and Mario Party 5 for the Collector's edition.
30) Because of you people.
31) The back of the bible.
32) The instruction manual catches on fire.
33) Because Link is mean to chickens.
34) Because I didn't get OoT and an N64 for Christmas when it came out.
35) Because I touch myself at night too.
36) He has a boat and I don't.
37) The annoying beep when you're low on health.
3
Because one summer I played OoT for 15 hours straight and I hurt my back and both shoulders for several months and my hot doctor yelled at me.
39) Because it's hard to aim the bow and sling shot in OoT.
3
Because I ran out of reasons.
39) Because Osama Bin Laden plays this game.
40) Because Link never really got Epona he got a donkey.
"Sometimes justice is just a word, but sometimes justice is also three feet of sharp steel smashing in your face."
